TOP 5 SEXIEST MALE POLITICIANS (NOT CLICKBAIT)

           TOP 5 SEXIEST POLITICIANS

by Ryan Schnocket

Although they are powerful and run the world, most male politicians are decidedly unsexy. Lucky for our greedy eyes though, there are still a few diamonds hiding in the white-haired, overweight rough. Many of those listed below have bodies and looks that would never lead you to believe they work in government. Here are the sexiest male politicians in America, as decided on by me, someone with way too much time on his hands.

5. Gavin Newsom

Gavin Newsom is the current governor of California, which is all I know about him other than him being relatively good looking. At 51 years old, Gavin has already past the age at which his gender retains any degree of usefulness. Despite this, he barely looks a day over 30, which does give him some inherent value. He seems to have no problem showing plenty of skin, teasing voters' imaginations with just a hint of clavicle. With a strong jawline like that, has my vote for sure! 

4. Paul Ryan

Paul Ryan was the 54th speaker of the house, holding the position for six years before recently being defeated by Nancy Pelosi. Its hard to imagine Ryan not being on this list, especially with the beard he grew recently. You can tell he definitely just grew it to conceal his overly wide mouth though. Since he mostly goes around in a suit and tie, its hard to say much about his body, but given how many times he's tried to get rid of the ACA, I'd say he's got a pretty healthy one. 

3. Ricardo Rosello

Ricardo Rosello is the governor of Puerto Rico, a territory so ignored that you probably won't care that much that the only reason I brought it up was to objectify its leader. At only 40 years old, Rosello is still in his prime, but pretty soon, his muscles will probably start sagging and he'll lose the only thing he's good for. I wonder who takes care of his children while he's off at work instead of raising them like a good father should. He isn't really a natural beauty either, its blatantly obvious that he has like a pound of hair gel in.

2. Adam Kinzinger

Adam Kinzinger is a U.S. representative for the state of who cares you're only here to ogle his body anyway. He has clean cut, straight hair, and a pretty face to match. Unlike the other politicians on this list, Adam is less of a tease, and has modeled for Men's Health magazine to show off his abs and bulging pectorals. His policies have been very popular in the Republican Party, but I'm sure his good looks didn't hurt him getting elected either. He's in favor of concealed carry across state lines, and with guns like those, I can see why.

                                                                                          1. Jim Justice

There are quite a few attractive male politicians, but at the end of the day, I think we all knew who was going to be number one. At 68 years old, Jim Justice is still going strong, and even has something of an appeal as a sexy, mature, man. Justice has fat in all the right places, and all the places. He's also a towering 6 feet, 7 inches tall, which is a huge plus for a lot of us out there who love tall, strong men. Being the richest, and most powerful man in West Virginia doesn't hurt either. Justice is unfortunately married, but nothing's stopping us from admiring from afar.

dear god why did I write this?